New York Bus Simulator

PC
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2

Awful

1.5

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The year is 2237. Decades after the robots take over and use humans as nothing more than batteries to fuel their interplanetary space guns, what remains of our species is trapped in a crude simulation designed to keep us docile. A world where you’re a bus driver with an insatiable lust for odd-looking balls of demented bees hanging pointlessly in the air like wispy disco footballs.

New York Bus Simulator - Wispy Disco Footballs

New York Bus Simulator – Wispy Disco Footballs

New York Bus Simulator is this simulation and there is no escape. There is only the drive. So you drive your bus and you pick up your passengers, each one more identical than the last and twice as silent. You drive, you stop. You drive, you stop. On and on and on. Forever and ever.

Sometimes, in quiet moments waiting for passengers to board, you remember a life of sunlight, realistic textures and solid objects. Of laughing and smiles and  the beaming faces of excited children but it never lasts. Your mind is always inevitably dragged back to the dazzling allure of the bee orbs like a horse dragging a wounded man into a river.

New York Bus Simulator - Clones.....

New York Bus Simulator – Clones…..

The streets outside could be teeming with life but you can never see outside! As if the torture of the bus was not sufficient, the robots were not sophisticated enough to create transparent glass and every window is an infuriating grey void. All you see is grey and the occasional smudge of yellow when you encounter your beloved floaty bee orbs. Borbs.

You scream but there is no-one to listen. There is only the drive. So you drive. Drive and scream. Scream and drive.

You yearn to leave this bus, to escape your oblong vehicular prison but your hands are meshed into the wheel like some sort of Lovecraftian nightmare. You are forever trapped, a despicable monster of flesh and metal. Half-man, half-bus. You call out to the passengers on your bus but they just stare back at you wordlessly from their identical faces, their lips moving soundlessly until they reach their destination, only to be replaced by more voiceless automata. You scream but there is no-one to listen. There is only the drive. So you drive. Drive and scream. Scream and drive.

New York Bus Simulator - Mindless Drivers?

New York Bus Simulator – Mindless Drivers?

Once long ago you tried to rebel against the system. You saw a stop full of drones and tried to run them down with the only power you had left, this forsaken, unrelenting bus of the damned! But when you did, you passed through them as if they were smoke. It’s useless; nothing here is solid, only voiceless men and empty streets.

Sometimes when you pass through a junction a car will try to drive straight through the bus. Never stopping until you are pushed out of it’s path. Are these cars also piloted by the helpless remains of our race or are they too a piece of the system? There are many cars that try to ram you but you are the only bus. The only bus in the world…

VERDICT

New York Bus Simulator – A bleak featureless nightmare…

Good

  • It doesn't actively cause your own death
  • It doesn't taste unpleasant
  • It does not result in involuntary physical expulsion of vomit or poo from the body
  • Enjoying it is a sign that your brain may have aggressively turned on itself

Bad

  • People can see that you're playing this when you're signed into Steam
  • They will lose respect for you
  • You will cry
2

Awful

A mid-30s gamer who, despite cutting his teeth on consoles from NES to Xbox 360, now prefers the nuts and bolts of PC gaming or the pixellated allure of retro-fayre. Has a 'proper' degree having graduated with a BA in Games Art & Design that he has never used... When not gaming for fun enjoys building games in UDK and making videos for the gaming channel Super Fun Game Time that he co-founded with his friend Marc. He once wrote a book about going to the toilet

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